Are Some Believers Overly Scrupulous? (Romans 14:14–23)

Welcome:

This episode explores the tension between Christian freedom and individual conscience. Drawing from Romans 14:14–23, we look at how Paul addresses the differences between believers who feel free in amoral matters (like food or drink) and those whose consciences are more sensitive. Rather than judging one another, Paul calls Christians to walk in love, especially when their liberty might cause others to stumble. This is not legalism—it’s kingdom-minded maturity.

Two Key Principles (Romans 14:14–15):

1. “Nothing is unclean in itself” (v.14) — Amoral things are not inherently sinful. But if a person believes it’s wrong, it becomes sinful for them.
2. “You are no longer acting in love” (v.15) — Causing someone grief or to stumble due to your actions, even if permissible, is unloving.

Three Key Conclusions:

1. Verse 16 – Don’t let your good (freedom) be spoken of as evil. Love may mean yielding your rights.
2. Verse 19 – Pursue peace and mutual edification. Build up rather than tear down.
3. Verse 22 – Keep your convictions between yourself and God. Don’t parade your liberty if it harms others.

Kingdom Priorities (v.17): The Kingdom of God isn’t about eating or drinking—it’s about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit. Spiritual joy is greater than momentary indulgence.

Final Reflection: Walking in love might mean giving up things you’re free to enjoy—out of care for others’ spiritual growth. That’s not legalism, that’s maturity. It’s the difference between worldly wisdom and the peaceable wisdom James 3 speaks of.

Quote from James 3: “The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable…”

Main Takeaway: True Christian maturity isn’t about asserting your rights—it’s about laying them down in love to protect the conscience and growth of your fellow believers.

Call to Action: Consider areas in your life where your freedom might be misunderstood or become a stumbling block. Are you walking in love?

Subscribe to TBPDP Stay connected as we walk through the Book of Romans and learn to apply God’s Word in real, practical ways.

Support the Podcast: [https://www.patreon.com/JeremyMcCandless]

The One Shalom

Welcome to One Shalom! We are two young adults who have a burden to share the shalom...

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Chapters

• 21:37 [Ad] The One Shalom
• 22:25 (Cont.) Are Some Believers Overly Scrupulous? (Romans 14:14–23)

Transcript

Are Some Believers Overly Scrupulous (Romans 14: 14-23)

Transcript: 

Imagine a new couple visits your church and, after the evening service, you and your spouse invite them over. You're glad to welcome them and, offer some refreshments, maybe a glass of beer or a glass on wine.

One of the new couples speaks up: "We don’t drink, do you?" Immediately, you sense a problem.

Now, what would you do in that situation?

I’m not talking about someone who’s being difficult for the sake of being difficult—someone who was raised in a culture where everything like that was condemned or maybe they used to have a problem relationship with alcohol or just a genuine conviction What do you do, What do you say?

How should we respond to them?

Two major New Testament passages address this issue: 1 Corinthians 8–10, and Romans 14 through the beginning of chapter 15. In Romans 14, Paul begins by insisting that both the "strong"—interestingly those with freedom of conscience in amoral matters—and the "weak"—those who feel bound by conscience—not to judge one another. That’s the negative command: don’t pass judgment.

But that still doesn’t answer our practical dilemma. You’ve got bottle of wine on the table and a couple whose conscience is troubled. What do you do?

To answer that, we need to turn to Romans 14:14–23, where Paul shifts from general principles to specific application….

 Let me read the passage for you.

I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died.”

(Romans 14:14–15)

In this portion of the letter, Paul lays out two principles (verses 14–15) and then follows them with three key conclusions—each one beginning with “Therefore” or framed as a question (verses 16, 19, and 22).

The first principle, found in verse 14, is clear: “There is nothing unclean in itself.” That is, certain things—like food, drink, which are in and of themselves amoral. They are not inherently sinful. 

Paul has had this revealed to him supernaturally by the Lord Jesus himself. Yet, he also affirms that if someone sincerely believes a particular activity is wrong, then for them, it is wrong, because their conscience is troubled.

Throughout Romans 14 and into chapter 15, Paul is dealing with these amoral issues—things not explicitly commanded or forbidden by Scripture. In Paul's day, this included questions about clean and unclean foods or the observance of certain days. Today, it might be things like playing cards, drinking alcohol in moderation, smoking or attending movies.

So, what do you do when your freedom collides with someone else’s conscience? That’s exactly what Paul helps us navigate in this passage. Let’s examine these principles and the conclusions he draws from them so that we, too, can learn how to walk in love—especially when dealing with those we might consider rather  “overly scrupulous and legalistic.”

Paul says in 1 Timothy chapter 4 that we are free to eat foods once considered unclean, provided we receive them with thanksgiving.

In the New Covenant, we are no longer bound by the ceremonial laws of the Old Testament. But—and this is crucial—Paul also says in Romans 14:14 that “to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean.”

This is the first principle he lays down: if you believe something is wrong, then it is sinful for you to do it, even if the thing itself is not inherently sinful. In other words, the issue is not simply about the external act, but about the internal conviction of the conscience.

Paul will explain this more fully later, but at this point he’s simply saying: don’t violate your conscience. If you believe something might be wrong, even if it’s amoral, in and of itself, then it becomes wrong for you

So that’s the first principle: don’t do something if you believe it’s wrong.

The second principle comes in verse 15. Paul says, 

“If your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love.”

He adds.

“Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died.”

Even if food is morally neutral, but if your actions cause someone else to stumble—to act against their own conscience—then you are no longer acting in love. And that makes your action wrong.

Paul is not speaking here about legalistic Christians who impose rules on everyone else. He’s talking about a “vulnerable brother”—someone whose conscience is more uncertain. The best example of this comes from 1 Corinthians 8, where the issue was meat offered to idols. Paul explains that if a immature brother sees a strong Christian eat such meat and is emboldened to do the same—despite believing it’s wrong—he can then led into sin. The mature Christian, by exercising their freedom, has harmed someone Christ died for.

This is not about offending someone’s preferences. It’s not about someone grumbling or complaining about what you do. It’s about love. It’s about the effect your freedom might have on someone else's spiritual well-being. If your actions lead them to go against their own conscience or vulnerabilities, then you are no longer walking in love.

So, according to Paul’s teaching in the scenario I shared in the into  the loving thing to do is to set aside alcohol for the evening. Because if your freedom encourages them to do what they believe is wrong, for them you’ve led them into sin. And in doing so, you yourself have sinned—because you did not act in love.

Paul then draws a practical conclusion in verse 16: “Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. In other words, don’t insist on your freedom in Christ in a way that causes harms. Yes, you have the right—but love sometimes means laying down your rights.

Just like traffic signs that say “STOP” are there to prevent accidents, Paul suggests we sometimes need a “Yield Our Rights” in our spiritual lives. When love is the rule, yielding is not weakness—it is Christlike strength.

Paul urges us not to let our “good” be spoken of as evil (Romans 14:16). What is “the good” in this context? It is the freedom we have in Christ to participate in anything that is morally neutral. Eating meat, drinking wine, and other matters of Christian liberty fall into this category.

These things are not evil in and of themselves. However, they become problematic when we use our freedom in a way that causes others to stumble. (expand)

Earlier in verse 3, Paul writes, “Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.” 

That verse makes it clear: whether we choose to exercise freedom or abstain (as I do), we must not fall into the trap of either despising others or judging them. Both attitudes fail to reflect the grace of God, who has received each believer.

So yes, go ahead and eat what you want, or drink (In moderation – the bible does decry drunkenness on many occasions), but do so with awareness. You risk being misunderstood, even slandered, if your actions lead others to violate their own consciences or people misunderstand your motives.

Paul’s encouragement here is not legalistic its pastoral. He wants Christians to consider the spiritual well-being of others more important than exercising personal freedom of choice.

And here's his stunning rationale, found in verse 17: “7 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

In other words, if you are truly walking in step with the Spirit, your priorities will reflect that. Your joy will not be in indulging yourself or asserting your freedom, but in living righteously, in pursuing peace with your fellow believers, and in experiencing joy that comes from the Spirit, not from outward indulgences.

We belong to a spiritual kingdom. It’s not a kingdom defined by food laws or ceremonial rules. Our citizenship in God’s kingdom means that we care more about living rightly, about fostering peace within the body, and about rejoicing in the Spirit’s presence than we do about our own personal pleasures.

In verse 18 Paul says, “Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.” If you live this way—sacrificially rather than selfishly—you are pleasing to God. And more often than not, you will also win the respect of others. People see and appreciate humility, especially when it’s grounded in love.

The point Paul is making is not that pleasure is wrong, but that there is a higher joy—a spiritual joy—that comes when we put others first. 

Yes, eating certain foods or enjoying a glass of wine may bring you some measure of pleasure. But there's a deeper joy that comes when we sacrifice something we are free to do for the sake of another's spiritual health.

To paraphrase: the person who is truly aligned with the values of God’s kingdom doesn’t get his joy from asserting his rights at the cost of another’s faith. He finds his joy in doing what is right, in pursuing peace, and in watching the Spirit produce joy in his life. That’s the fruit of sacrificial living. It's not a loss of joy, but a transformation of it.

In verse 19, we find the second “therefore” of this section: “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.”

That theme continues into verse 20: 

“Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble.

The idea is the same: we are not to tear down what God is building up. Instead, Paul calls us to pursue what leads to peace and mutual edification—to build up rather than to damage the fragile faith or situatiom of others.

In verse 21, he continues

: “It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to stumble.

The phrases all reinforce the central point: don’t let your freedom become a stumbling block.

So Paul is saying: if in a specific situation, you’re eating or drinking—or card playing, or movie watching, or social media post might cause a fellow believer to stumble, then abstain in that situation. That’s what love does. It gives up its rights to preserve someone else's faith.

This isn’t legalism—it’s maturity. It’s kingdom thinking. And it leads to deeper fellowship, greater joy, and a witness that pleases both God and people.

Years ago—many years ago—when I first began to study the Bible in earnest, one of the first books I immersed myself in was the book of James. And I have to tell you: James left a mark on me. There are a couple of concepts in that epistle that have shaped me, made me and moulded me, to this very day.

One in particular stands out. It's from the latter part of James chapter 3, where he speaks about two kinds of wisdom. He says there is a kind of wisdom that comes from below—from the world, the flesh, and the devil—and that wisdom is self-seeking. It's envious. It's divisive.

But then James describes another kind of wisdom—wisdom that comes from above. And he says this wisdom is “first of all pure, then peaceable.”

That simple insight made an important impression on me.

As I read and reread that passage, it became clear to me that James is teaching this: godly wisdom is pure—pure in motive, untainted by selfish ambition. It doesn’t push its own way. It doesn’t demand its own preferences. It’s not manipulative. It is sincere. And then James says that godly wisdom is peaceable. It leans toward harmony. It always seeks reconciliation.

And I tell you, in scores and hundreds of situations since—in family disputes, in church conflicts, in moments where I’ve been called in to serve as a kind of negotiator—I have gone in with this goal in mind: seek peace.

And hear me now. I consider this one of the most important principles in all of the Scriptures: live in love and pursue peace.

That’s exactly what Paul has been teaching us here in Romans 14. He said it clearly: if you destroy your brother or sister over your rules about food or drink, you're no longer walking in love. You might be technically right, but you're spiritually wrong.

The loving thing to do—the wise thing to do—is to seek peace, not to tear down but to build up. James would applaud this teaching and say, "That is godly wisdom."

Now, there is a third and conclusion Paul offers at the close of this passage. It’s not introduced with a “therefore,” but it’s a conclusion nonetheless. You see it in verses 22 and 23:

So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin

Here, Paul shifts the focus inward. He says, in effect: Whatever you do, do it before God, and do it by faith.

Earlier in this chapter, Paul taught that one man regards a day as special unto the Lord, while another regards all days alike—also unto the Lord. The critical thing isn’t who’s right in the details; the critical thing is that each person does what they do as unto the Lord.

It’s your conviction before God that is important here. Hold it sincerely. But keep it to yourself in the sense that you don't flaunt it before a more immature brother or sister. Again, don’t use your freedom to destroy someone else's faith.

You'll be happy if your conscience is clear on this matter. But if you doubt—if you're hesitating, if you’re inwardly debating and deliberating—then you're already in trouble. You're not acting in faith. And anything not done in faith, Paul says, is sin.

So don't flaunt your freedom,  don't parade it, don't use it to make other look bad or less than you.

In Psychology some time  ago, a man called Viktor Frankl wrote, and I quote,

I often tell my American  audiences that freedom threatens to degenerate into mere arbitrariness  Unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness That is why I  recommend to you Americans that your Statue of Liberty on the  East Coast be supplemented by a statue of responsibility on  the West Coast.

Enjoy you freedom in Christ today my friend, but always remember as Eleanor Roosevelt once said, with great freedom come great responsibility.